"But whenever I meet dynamic, non-retarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I’m going to blame John Cusack."
— Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman (via thechocolatebrigade)
Wimbledon 2010 live blog: 23 June | Xan Brooks | Sport | guardian.co.uk »
Funny funny stuff…
Best infographic ever (click to see large) (via i.imgur.com)
Drunkenness & Your Chances of Getting Laid (Infographic)
I love the “I was telling her all about my house’s beer pong bracket. She probably went to make her own” as conclusion.
Good things come in 3.
Onanothernote: I wish I were the Laura Bush look a like.
"
Appointment With Stupidity
Car Dealership | Sandy, UT, USA
Me: “Service Center, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”
Me: “Oh alright. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”
Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”
Me: “Yep!”
Customer: “So, wait…we don’t need an appointment?”
Me: “Nope, just come right in!”
Customer: “So, what your saying is we don’t need an appointment?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Customer: “I dunno about that.”
Me: “About what?”
Customer: “Not having an appointment.”
Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”
Customer: “You just said I didn’t need one!”
Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”
Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”
"— Not Always Right Blog
"Hopefully now that I’m famous, I’ll be able to meet lots of girls."
—
SULTAN KOSEN, a Turkish 27-year-old recently named the world’s tallest man by Guinness World Records, at 8 ft. 1 in. (almost 2.5 m). Kosen also has the world’s largest hands and feet
Friday, Sep. 18, 2009 - Quotes of the Day - TIME.com
Liz: You can’t put Gatorade on salmon.
Drew: Yes you can - the hot Italian lady from the Food Network told me so.
Liz: Did she say it on TV?
Drew: No, she said it to me when she jumped escalators to try to talk … oh.
- 30 Rock, 3x15 The Bubble
Who Moved My Seriousness? - Laugh Lines Blog - NYTimes.com »
Parody | “Book Titles, if They Were Written Today” (from the blog Your Monkey Called):
Then: “The Wealth of Nations”
Now: “Invisible Hands: The Mysterious Market Forces That Control Our Lives and How to Profit From Them”
Then: “Walden”
Now: “Camping with Myself: Two Years in American Tuscany”
Then: “The Theory of the Leisure Class”
Now: “Buying Out Loud: The Unbelievable Truth About What We Consume and What It Says About Us”
Then: “The Gospel of Matthew”
Now: “40 Days and a Mule: How One Man Quit His Job and Became the Boss”
Then: “The Prince”
Now: “The Prince” (Foreword by Oprah Winfrey)
Hey Brady! You just lost to a rookie led New York Jets team! What kind of coffin do you wanna be buried in?!
Nicely done!perfect.
