I am going to give you a piece of advice, advice I wish I’d been told back in high school, in between the don’t-do-acid and don’t-drink-and-drive films. I wish our counselors had told us, “When you grow older, a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It’s called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don’t. Here is the list of the symptoms, and don’t worry—loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact—loneliness will pass. You will survive, and you will be a better human for it.” - Douglas Coupland
Amazon.com: Grad Student Survival Handbooks »
Interesting choices…
Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful.
Can’t help but think of this line from Cameron Crowe’s “Almost Famous” after listening to On The Media’s “The McChrystal Bombshell.”
"I am going to give you a piece of advice…advice I wish I’d been told in guidance class back in high school, in between the don’t-do-acid and don’t-drink-and-drive films. I wish our counselors had told us, ‘When you grow older a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It’s called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don’t. Here is the list of the symptoms, and don’t worry—loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact—loneliness will pass. You will survive and you will be a better human for it.’"
— Douglas Coupland (via kelllllz)
How to not dress like a grad student? »
Noted for my future reference.
I wish it was this simple for girls…
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
— Steve Jobs (via lpengg) (via ariane-mardin)
Bothering me.
So I spend a lot of time on the internet, right? Sue me. I’m unemployed AND it’s Winter. Double whammy. Totes internets.
While cruising the worldwide information superhighway with my rag top down so my hair can blow, I remember to stop and smell the roses, which is a mixed metaphor on top of a really bad Vanilla Ice joke and doesn’t particularly make a lot of sense but I have this blinding headache from my broken tooth and it feels like the vein in my left temple is going to explode at any minute, so lay off, okay? Cut a guy some slack. What I was trying to say is that I am observant. I do not mindlessly chew information into a digital pap which, flavorless, I swallow or regurgitate in binary code. I research things. I take little notes in cramped handwriting. I have interconnected bookmarks and media aggregation software. I have a folder entitled ‘ANNOYING’ into which I frequently dump links so I can gripe about them later. It is from that folder I want to pull the following topic so that I can unleash a small river of bile about it and then retire it to my ‘SERVED’ folder where it will languish forever because nothing goes away on the internet no matter how much you want it to.
TOPIC #2,457: Amateur Relationship Advice Columnists
You know the ones I’m talking about, especially since you’re reading this on Tumblr. Early twentysomethings fresh out of their (maybe) third serious relationship, or God forbid the perpetually lonely late thirties type that spews Cosmopolitan-level drivel about what constitutes respect or fidelity through a mouthful of cookie dough, somehow convinced in their 2010 blogger brains that they have in any way earned the right to pass judgement or post rules for the dating public at large.
“Ladies, if he ________, then _________.”
“10 Rules for picking a good guy.”
“Dealbreakers!”
Etc.
The fact that the majority of these would-be matchmakers and rooters out of THE DEEP TRUTHS about the millenia-old intricacies of human interaction are single is always pretty amusing, but I’m sure they just have super high standards or are taking a break from the drama to help you, the poor reader, better navigate the pitfalls of modern dating. Nonetheless, it should be a personal red flag before they touch fingertip to keyboard and it drives me up a fucking wall trying to figure out what misfired synapse convinced them they have any right or reason to dispense advice about a subject they clearly don’t have the scope or success to consider themselves accomplished in.
You know who I would accept dating advice from? My grandparents. Too bad they’re dead. My grandfather married my divorced grandmother back in the ’30s, when that whole “fallen woman” thing was still WAY popular, and he caught a boatload of shit for it. He then stayed married to her for almost 60 years, and their children had some children and one of them was me and when my grandfather died my otherwise perfectly healthy grandmother didn’t make it a year because sometimes you really do love someone so much you can’t live without them. Through all manner of adversity and infighting, changing economic times and physical collapse, they stuck it out and stayed loyal, loving and amusing. I would trust them, after all that, to have some sage words of wisdom on what makes a good partner and what to do to keep the flame flickering through thick and thin.
I would not feel comfortable taking the same advice from a part-time salon coordinator who likes making lists in her spare time that are not so subtle critiques of her exes disguised as advice, or the lonely divorcees forcing their desires and neuroses on the masses under the guise of “things to watch out for” or “things he must have”.
(and I don’t mean to pretend they’re all women, but they’re always women, so I’m sorry)
The relative truth of the matter is that any two people can or could love each other given enough reason or work, and perfectly compatible people don’t work out all the time for a variety of reasons. Arranged Indian marriages result in incredibly happy families and brilliant children. Smart, successful couples with wildly similar interests dissolve in a flurry of infidelity and betrayal. Sex causes a fucking ton of problems, even when it’s really good. Anything can fuck up a relationship if the the people in it don’t care enough to save it. Any weird personal peccadillo can be seen as charming through the eyes of love. If you understood these things, you wouldn’t deal in “dealbreakers” because there’s no such thing.
Every person is different. Why one person performs an action or says a certain thing has little to absolutely no bearing on why the previous person you were dating said or did it. Couples have overcome infidelity, domestic abuse and arson. While it is true you can’t have love without trust or respect, you also have to earn those things, and nobody is perfect.
I’m simply amazed by the sheer number of people who think they are, and can’t refrain from telling all us poor wandering souls what we should or shouldn’t be looking for in a lifemate.
Pretending like there is a set list of criteria or behaviors that the majority of people should fit or follow is like pretending all men think using your fucking underwear as a hair tie is sexy. Retarded.
Get over yourselves and have another spoonful of Cherry Garcia, Cosmo girls. Even if you were happily married with pretty children, the American divorce rate in 2010 is 54% and celebrity sex scandals are constant front page news. Very few people get it right and those people are more lucky than smart.
Or maybe they just know how to shut up and do what needs doing.
I double dog dare you to do the same. Get back to me in 60 years and I’ll read your list.
LOVE it. Especially because some of my “happily married/coupled” friends that try to give me advice are frequently in horrifyingly terrible relationships that remind me why I’m single and in no rush to settle (down). And especially because they dish romance and relationship advice in between moments of complaining about their alternatingly horrible/wonderful significant other. Do you hear yourself? Ever?
"Write your heart out. Never be ashamed of your subject, and of your passion for your subject … Read widely, and without apology. Read what you want to read, not what someone tells you you should read."
— Joyce Carol Oates, “To A Young Writer” (via writingtoreachyou)
The Clutter Diet Blog: Ten Simple Ways to Be More Organized in 2010 »
It’s going to be a new year AND a new decade! So many people want to “get organized,” but that can feel overwhelming if not clearly defined.Here are ten simple changes you can make that will go a long way.So get yourself through the upcoming weekend and have a lovely holiday— and next week start thinking about doing some of these:
1. Start using online banking. Set up automatic payments for amounts that don’t change, and set up payees to be ready to pay the others with varying amounts. Who needs stamps? And who likes signing checks? You also can set payments up in advance and have them go out exactly when you want them.
2. Establish a “Destination Station” where you enter and exit the house daily. Our paid Clutter Diet® members know that we talk about this all the time, and we revisit this area in our weekly project plans several times a year. It’s that important! You can put your purse, keys, shoes, chargers, gadgets, errand items, school stuff, and eco-friendly grocery bags there.
3. Outsource or delegate something you don’t like doing. Either pay someone to do it for you, or delegate it to a family member. Life is short, and you are busy, and you should focus on what you do best. Comment here on what that might be for you! Maybe it’s mowing your lawn, or getting a dry cleaning service that delivers, or hiring a neighborhood teen to run errands for you.
4. Clean up your contacts/address book. You are getting all of these holiday cards right now with everyone’s updated information contained therein. Take a few minutes to update this information in your records.
5. Be more mindful of what you bring into the house. In our online programand my book, we talk about how organizing is like losing weight— both require a program of Prevention, Reduction, and Maintenance. You can prevent clutter from getting in the door by using our downloadable wallet reminder sleeves, which include the 5 questions you should ask before buying anything! You store your credit or debit cards in them and have a physical reminder each time you’re at the checkout.
6. Organize your primary wardrobe closet. It’s one of the first places you see each morning upon waking up, and it can start your day well or make you feel frustrated— you choose! It’s one of the best projects to do first because it makes a difference in your life every single day. You can save time, save money making better purchasing decisions, and reduce your stress in one fell swoop.
7. Do your Sunday Planning once a week. Just ten minutes a week can really change everything with regard to how your family functions. We talk about this in our f*ree report, 30 Ways to Find Time to Get Organized.
8. Get ONE calendar or planner you really like and stick to it. It’s that simple. Start and end each day looking at it to orient yourself to the day ahead and plan for tomorrow.
9. Make one positive change to your morning routine. Whether that means doing a load of laundry, making a better breakfast, getting up earlier, or exercising, do ONE THING to improve how your morning begins. It will set your day off right and better organization usually is the result.
10. Get affordable help from me and my team of organizing experts!
